A beautiful mantra

“At the very instance you think ‘I am happy’, a chemical messenger translates your emotion, which has  no solid existence whatsoever in the material world, into a bit of matter so perfectly attuned to your desire that literally every cell in your body learns of your happiness and joins in.” -Deepak Chopra

This is resonating with me so much today. I keep finding these little gems of advice everywhere I look. I decided to pass this on and hopefully someone that needs to see it will stumble upon it.

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xooxo,

Danica

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Social Media Slow Clap Fade Out

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Social media is such a weird beast. Not everyone gets hooked-actually the thought of it immediately turns people off. But for the other 85% of us…this blog is for you. Have you ever really sat for a moment and asked yourself what you’re really benefiting from it? I usually get off social media mad about something political that’s probably just not true or sad because there are so many animals that need to be rescued. Why is there no in between? 😉

There’s a ton of different ways now to communicate with friends and family all over the world. Facebook- the perfect site to post all of your baby pictures, wedding photos, aggressive political posts, quizzes about the meaning of your name(?), and to celebrate made up holidays. Facebook was my introduction into social media- wait for it- 11 years ago. It was brand new and I was 20/21 years old. You had to be in college to join, with a college email. Parents had not joined. It was a different time. As soon as I heard of Facebook and Myspace I thought it was the dumbest idea in the world. It sounded like such a lame waste of time. BUT, a guy I had a crush on was on there so I joined to be friends with him.

When I got on, I was surprised how many people I knew on there. It was exciting to become friends with everyone in this online outer space world. I was hooked the first day on checking to see how many more friend requests I had. I was collecting friends. It didn’t even matter how much I really knew them.

So I moved to NYC pretty soon after it all started blowing up in the college world. Myspace was still around but people were becoming less interested. Smartphones weren’t a huge thing yet and people still talked to each other while out in the world. I miss that.

While living in NYC, I remember being excited to go to FEDEX once or twice a month and check my facebook and email. I didn’t have a computer and got along just fine without it at the sweet age of 22 in acting school. I needed my imagination more than I needed a screen. I cannot begin to explain how much I accomplished that year in such a short amount of time. I had zero distractions. I was really living in the moment and Facebook was only there for a 5 minute block every couple weeks.

Now, 10 years later, it is only a place for ridiculous completely untrue articles about the country or world. It is filled with politics, baby questions, new mom frustrations, political battles and personal attacks on your beliefs, vacation pictures, rants about school systems, invites to things you live nowhere close to, and requests from people you know nothing about.

My problems with facebook and the addiction I feel for it is this: I’ve got things to do, man. I seriously have things to accomplish. I want to stick to my deadlines writing a book, create interesting classes and workshops to teach, I want to spend time with friends and family completely and totally there, I want to connect with what I have in my life today. Right now. I notice when things get challenging- instead of sticking with it and learning something about it- I tune out on stupid social media that infuriates me with lack of passion and compassion.

I no longer feel connected to facebook. I still share pictures and I still love to see what my friends are doing but I wonder if I would keep up with them in a way more personal way if I cut social media loose. I wonder if I would write more and feel more inspired. I wonder if I would feel completely okay with where I am in life if I relied my attention on that place rather than on what everyone else is doing with their life. I want to read things that will fuel my love for life and not scare the shit out of me. I want to grow my passion and hinder my distractions. I want to connect in a personal and true way to as many like minded people as possible.

The problem is, we think we have time. An endless amount of time. If you know exactly what’s getting in your way and distracting you from clarity, peace of mind, or your dream- ummmmm….get rid of it.

So I am going on a 6 month hiatus from social media. I’m going to use my extra time to read, write interesting blogs, make youtube yoga tutorials, plan my wedding, spend sweet time with my sweetheart, and continue growing my love community. I do not think it will be easy to cut social media at first, honestly. I love to share and connect. I do think I will notice what I am avoiding by jumping on it instead of writing for my book or creating more classes. I do think my inspiration will grow exponentially. That’s the point of it all.

Expect a new blog every week about what’s inspiring me lately. I have a feeling I’m going to feel a real freedom.

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Loving you!

Danica Elle (soon to be Mrs. Danica Haverkamp!!!)

Live Your Dream…my humble advice

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It’s only my 2 cents.  You will always need to know in every life decision why you are good enough and deserve to be happy. Always. So figure that out now. And then do what makes you happy every single day. Here’s a little bit of my most recent journey to happiness and what I think works.

I don’t make a million dollars…I mean my car doesn’t even have power windows… and it’s a stick! I can say without a doubt that I am the happiest version of myself that I have ever been. I cannot believe that I get paid to do what  I love and teach people how to find what they love. I can’t believe that I am marrying the sweetest man in the world. And I get to live in a cute tiny home half a block from the beach with my little Murph monster kitty. This. How did I deserve all of this?

So I have been thinking about how blessed I am and how I got here. I wanted to share my advice with you for anyone who feels stuck or close to giving up on being really really happy. I was there more than once.

First of all, you probably already know what you would rather be doing for your job. (Perhaps you love your job. That’s great! But this blog will most likely not interest you.) I hear from people all the time about how they have been getting all of these affirmations that they are really good at something. They are super interested in it, spend their spare time reading about it or thinking about it, taking classes on it. In other words- really very drawn to it. This could be a hobby. Hobbies are good. You don’t need to turn all hobbies into a job. The feeling you get when it is more than a hobby is a NEED TO ACT. A strong desire to get involved in some way. That desire will most likely be ignored by you. In my own experience, it was ignored because I didn’t believe I was smart enough, creative enough, loud enough (I speak very softly until I teach…or get mad at people driving), I didn’t think I could make enough money to survive doing what I loved.

So that leads me to the second thing ya gotta do…. WHATEVER IT TAKES TO CONVINCE YOURSELF!!!! I’ll tell ya what worked for me. And this is what I always do when I feel scared…I absolutely do it anyway. Fear will freeze you for a minute. The excitement of doing it anyway will melt that fear right off. I started teaching even though I was afraid of it and what people would think of my heart/classes. What has always seemed to work for me is to hurl myself into the fire so I have no time to tell myself I’m not good enough. Others have told me they have a mantra for whatever fear pops up the most in their head. Meditation. Journaling. Telling someone else your concern helps too. Don’t hold onto that negative voice that holds you back from going for the thing you want. That’s not real, it’s fear and you’re stronger than it. You really gotta love it (and yourself) more than you are afraid of it. You need to convince yourself that you deserve it and you’re good at it.

After you get over the first big challenge of showing up, you may be disappointed that the cash does not flow through like an ice cream machine. You may have to do a lot of work for free for the first few months….hopefully the first few months is all. I taught around a tree for free for a few months while serving tables. I slowly transitioned into a donation class in Hawaii because I still wasn’t sure if I deserved  to accept money for something I loved doing. You do deserve it. You’ve probably put a ton of money and time into learning your craft. You deserve it. People don’t typically expect free things except in corporate restaurants. When I moved to San Diego from Hawaii, it was like starting all over again except I didn’t know a single soul. So I taught for fruits and veggies in a park. I worked at a couple different cafes, I worked as a telephone customer service angry person until I hung up on someone for yelling at me about their flowers and never went back, I worked for a catering company, and I was teaching yoga to county employees after their work day. At one point I had 5 jobs and zero days off ever. I was surviving in the most minimal definition of that word. I had about 5 million voices in my head telling me to quit dreaming and start looking for a serious job. When this happens, and it will, go back to WHATEVER IT TAKES TO CONVINCE YOURSELF!!!!! This will become a daily practice. You will always need to know in every life decision why you are good enough and deserve to be happy. Always. So figure that out now.

The next thing, the most genius thing you just gotta do in order to make it to your dream world is NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVERRRRRR give up. Never. Not an option. Even if you have to work a job that makes you miserable while making this dream happen- do at least one thing every single day to work towards your goal. I worked those 5 jobs, I didn’t have a car and rode the bus an hour and a half both ways because San Diego really needs to get it together with public transit. It was strangely gratifying to be hustling so hard. I knew I was earning whatever success came to me. I started cleaning a yoga studio to get free yoga to keep me from going off track and peaceful. I cried a lot. My “then boyfriend- now fiance” just hugged me and never let me throw in the towel. He celebrated every win with me even if it was a $10 class. I wanted to give up but I kept finding myself in my journal writing about the gratitude I felt for everything I did have and why I deserved to keep trying. It hadn’t even been a full year in San Diego yet. Giving up after a year is barely trying. I was all in, man. If I failed it was going to be because someone looked me in the eye and told me that I was a failure and didn’t deserve it. Honestly, I’m not sure I would have quit then either. I had fire and was tired of being so unhappy with my work life.

The key to getting over the 6 month mark of going after something with no real validation that it will ever happen to you is to surround yourself with positive people, people living their dream, supporting your dream, listening to you cry, celebrating your wins, letting you vent, introducing you to people, your tribe. After 6 months especially. Your first instinct will be to isolate. You may have thoughts like “I don’t have any good news to bring” “I will make other people sad or worse pity me” “Happy people piss me off right now”. That means you need happy people more than ever. Networking is part of the job and if your an introvert like me- it might not be your favorite. In 6 months time when your new tribe has helped you reach your first HUGE win and encouraged you the whole way you will be so happy you pulled yourself up by the bootstraps and went to the party or dinner or meetup group. One man armies don’t exist.

Starting now, whether you are at the beginning of your dream life or in the middle- CELEBRATE ALL THE THINGS!!!! Every single interview, new friend, new job, promotion, other people’s happiness, a chance to do what you love even if it’s for free (think of all the new tribe members you could meet ;-)) Celebrate everything. That is the whole point of living the dream life, isn’t it? To be happy and free?

When something hits you that you are good at, passionate about, happy doing- get out there and find every single way there is to DO IT! Think way way outside the box. Make a whole other shape. Take this small piece of advice with you every morning, don’t be afraid to be you. I just love the ones that stand out! They are the most fun and inspiring and magnetic. Best human ingredients ever!

Next month is my 2 year anniversary with San Diego and I am now full time self employed yoga teacher, building my love business and brand everyday (for 4 years now) You can absolutely live your dream if you’re willing to work very very very hard for it and never give up on yourself. If I could ever help, just let me know how! Ask me or tell me anything!

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xooxo,

Danica Elle

Let’s start here…we can help!

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Lately, I have been planning to lead my very first yoga retreat! It’s a really exciting leap for me. I spent a long time not feeling ready for anything. It took me an entire year to accept money for teaching yoga at all. I really just wanted to share this amazing healing experience with anyone that would listen. Well that intention has only become stronger. I have learned over the past 4 years of teaching and practicing yoga daily that it is truly my calling. I connect with people on a very different level with yoga. So I decided to make it my career and find as many ways as I can to share this with anyone out there that is interested with money or without. Teaching donation classes, corporate yoga in the workplace, studios, beginner youtube channel, private lessons, free classes on the beach. I have looked into every outlet to continue to spread the love.

I feel the next step is to lead a retreat. A whole long weekend of yoga and spirituality. I had to recently sit with this new idea and ask myself where this idea was coming from. Was it a place of love or a place of “wanting more success”? I think the answer to this question would make two very different retreats. I don’t think there is anything wrong with either answer necessarily. It is quite normal to desire more money and success. BUT the energy that comes along with this feels greedy, far from genuine, and the opposite of why I started on this journey. I started from a place of love. I cannot lose this along the way. It will take on its own success in many different forms as it already has but it is my job to make sure everyone involved feels positive energy.

So while I sat with this for a few days, I suddenly became really touched by the devastating lives people are living in Syria and Syrian refugees. It is heartbreaking. My first thought, however, was what can I do? I am one person. Well…if everyone that thought that way did one thing, the world would be a better place. I looked up how I could help from San Diego with very little money. Unfortunately, what they really need is money. The puzzle pieces seemed to fit together very nicely! The retreat! The retreat could help.

A portion of the money paid for the retreat will go to a Syrian refugee organization of our choice. We will make the choice together. It may feel small in the big scheme of things, but it will feel very very large to the family that it helps.

The retreat is in January in San Diego and every other month from there. If you are interested in more information, sign up for my newsletter. One email a month to explain the different events going on in my little yoga world. I am beyond excited to share all of this love I have in my heart with anyone willing to listen. I can’t wait to connect with people eager to make a difference in the world. It starts with you. You are enough. All of your efforts are enough.

I love you all so much! xxoooxx

Danica Elle

www.danicayoga.com

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The amazing experiences that come from facing fears…

“Everything seems impossible until it’s done”

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I love love love this quote. It has been my theme all week. I would like to relate it to yoga on the mat and then to my life out in the world.

Let me introduce you to a class of mine. They are so wonderful. A room full of women in the middle of their work day come to yoga and they are all beginners. I do a lot of yin with them because I know they love it but I also feel a need to throw some challenges at them from time to time too. When I do they would laugh at me and without even trying it would say I can’t do that. So yeah, they were right. Their bodies would say “oh we can’t? okay.” So I had enough of this. I know how capable these women are and they are getting in their own way. So I began this theme. Inviting them to simply try before prejudging their bodies. Come to the mat every class and check in with your ever changing energy. Some days you will be so surprised at what you can do and how strong you are becoming….and some days you will be frustrated that you can’t do something today that you could do yesterday. Life happens. Your body needs something different everyday. Your mind needs to be open to these possibilities of change and growth and surprise.

Practicing this for an hour every week or a few times a week, whatever your practice may be, will not only improve your yoga on the mat but your yoga in the real world as well. New stuff is hard sometimes. Relate that to your life however you need. Facing something new in any way is going to seem huge. Face it anyway, take your time facing it.

I’m 31 and have started my life over from scratch now about 5 or 6 times. As in, I got rid of everything I owned and could pack everything I did own into a 50 pound suitcase. (okay 65 pounds.) Yes it was scary and there were plenty of times I thought I was out of my league. Let that fuel you. Nothing is random. You did not randomly chose to be where you are in life. You are not randomly staying where you are in life. You are in it. Facing it. Falling in it. Failing sometimes maybe. Succeeding definitely. Because you are living it. I think the term fearlessly is thrown around loosely. I love the word and the vision it brings to mind but I think it is important remember that it is not the absence of fear. To me, fearlessly means to move forward in the face of fear. You are not carrying the fear with you. Acknowledge it because it is there to teach you something- it is not there to hold you back from living the best life you can imagine.

The first time I remembering feeling fear in my adult life was when I moved to NYC from Virginia when I was 21 years old. I sub leased a tiny apartment in Soho for the summer before acting school started- and when I say tiny I really mean the bedroom was pretty much the kitchen. I think jail cells are bigger. I didn’t see the place before I moved into it. I had only been to NYC like twice in my life. I was a truly sincere sweet naive southern country girl. My sister Nikki and me loaded my little Honda civic up to the max with lamps and hangers (I had no closet in that place), boxes of shoes and clothes, my prized possession stereo…pretty much all of it had to go back with her because there was no room. Not even for a lamp. Rewind a little bit, even driving into the city was out of the question for me. I pulled off as soon as we went through the tunnel to let Nikki drive to Soho because I was scared. My freaking car got towed that night because I had no idea to read street parking signs because I am from the country. I didn’t even know how to find where they towed my car because I had only been there 12 hours! Luckily a stranger passed by and overheard us and told me. The first few days were fun because I had Nikki and it felt like vacation but then she left with my car and all my stuff and I was alone in a big city. Hell yeah I was scared! I feel the need to mention that the night before I left my hometown, a few mean girls who were also my roommates and friends posted a bunch of mean signs about me all over our place of work and facebook. So I no longer felt welcome in my hometown either. I am sure this wasn’t an accident but rather something to force me into this new phase of my life without looking back. This was my new reality now and I needed to find out what that was going to look like.

So it was my first Saturday night and I lived in the middle of downtown New York City!  I was sitting on my fire escape smoking a cigarette (yes I used to smoke. don’t judge me.) and I could hear the horns from the cabs, the screams from the excitement of the city, cats meowing randomly; I thought I cannot just sit here in my jail sized apartment in New York City. I got ready and decided to walk over to Bleeker street and get a drink. I felt awkward at first. But I did it. I met some people and hung out for about an hour and before I went home I was asked on a date for the next day. The date went nowhere at all but I got to walk around the city and learn about some new things with someone. I had fun. I let this trend continue all summer. I loved my neighbors in Soho and we got to do a ton of fun things together. They knew someone that owned a boat so we got to take it out on the Hudson one night and look at the amazing city. That skyline still takes my breath away. When we brought it back to dock it, my neighbor was trying to hold onto it to pull it in and fell in the Hudson. So gross. That river is gross. I finally found a job at a tiny diner in Soho. It was a 5 table place. Made a friend in the only other person that worked there and wandered around the city with him a lot too. He was a 37 year old actor. He said his agent told him that he would easily be cast as a rapist or murderer. One of the funniest guy I’ve ever known.

Just little bits and pieces of awesome memories that stemmed from facing my fear of being on my own. Facing this fear as soon as it hit me allowed me to move all over the place on my own and figure out who I am completely on my my own. Facing the fear only brought me positive experiences.

So here I was first month in NYC with 4 or 5 friends and experiences that will last my whole lifetime. Fear did not stop me from having the times of my life even though it sure tried. Learning to live with my new circumstances was important. I am sure my story is way more trivial than some out there, but the motto is still the same. I still had to DECIDE everyday to live positively in the face of fear and change.

Just thinking about New York City and how challenging it really is to live there makes me so excited to eventually write it all down. Bravery is following your heart, being scared, and doing it anyway. My morning meditation today reminded me that in order to move forward into the next amazing chapter of our lives, we must remain completely open to change, open to new ideas, open to feeling fear, open to all new opportunities and finding the light within them. Nothing is random. What are you learning from your life right now? Full awareness of life, God, your unique light or gift, and how you are learning to use it.

Feel free to tell me the first time you remember facing a big fear.

I am always sending you so much love.

xoxooxox

Danica Elle

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How I moved from Virginia to NYC to Hawaii to NYC to Hawaii to San Diego before I turned 30…mini book

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I just think this story is such an interesting one and I’d like to share it. How does a girl get from Virginia to NYC to Hawaii to San Diego…. with hardly any money and a dream all by herself?

Okay so I’m not going to start at the very beginning because this is not a book. But basically I moved to NYC when I was 21 to go to acting school and become a rich celebrity and have the most glamorous life ever. It was the most fun way to spend my early 20s for sure without a doubt. I lived all over that city for about 6 years and what I imagined would be glamorous turned into a lot of bartending and waitressing until 4 or 5am and finding the energy to make it to auditions the next day at 8am and riding the subway next to some guy that’s trying to eat the gum off the bottom of his shoe without taking his shoe off. I was never ever bored and I made the best friends there that I still think about every single day. Sadly, the day came that the feet of snow, the bitter bitter cold, and being drunk in a bar was getting me nowhere except stuck in NYC. I knew the superficial world of acting was not where my heart was. I woke up one morning with Hawaii on my mind and what was so weird was the fact that I had never ever thought about Hawaii. Ever. I didn’t even really know where it was on a map. That’s a true statement. I was living in Queens at the time with 2 amazing women and I told them I was gonna move to Hawaii out of nowhere. They were pretty excited for me. It didn’t take long to rent my place out cause that place was cute. So within about a month I put all my stuff into storage (foreshadowing I would be back) and flew away to a little tiny island in the middle of nowhere. I had 2 friends there that I had not seen in like 10 years. One of them let me stay with her. I had like 2000 dollars to my name, no job, and no idea how difficult it is to get a job on an island. Instead of getting a job, I camped out, saw the most beautiful beaches in the whole universe, learned to hula hoop, learned to let go of people and ideas I’d been holding onto…but ultimately still felt very unhappy and unfulfilled. So after about a month and a half, I moved back to NYC easily. My friend Bailey had a room for rent in my favorite part of Brooklyn and my friend Elena got me a job near Wall Street at this Irish pub place.

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I’ve actually never had such an easy transition moving. I was so blissfully happy to be back in NYC which I now realize was because I was all high from a month and a half of relaxation on an island. I hula hooped all over that city. I met a guy and for the first time fell in love and was treated so lovely. Things were swell….and then winter came. It was worse than any other year. Cabs were abandoned on 1st ave because of the blizzards. I fell down the subway stairs often. My boyfriend moved to California to continue his music career and I hated NYC again. She chewed my up and spit me out and I was no longer happy at all. I knew I had to go back to my happy place in Hawaii and slow the hell down and figure out my next step. This time I didn’t put my stuff in storage. I took it home to Virginia and moved to Hawaii with one big ass suitcase and 1000 dollars to my name.

I made a friend the previous time I was in Hawaii that was kind enough to let me stay on his couch while I figured it out and got settled. This transition was by far the worst one to date. I wouldn’t even know where to begin telling you all of the things that went wrong within the first few months. Nothing was harmed on my physical body but my ego, emotions, trust, and mind were pretty messed up by the actions of others. BUT I made an amazing friend in a girl named Claire- I know I wouldn’t have made it very far without her. She’s something special to me.670

I also got a job waitressing at the Hard Rock Cafe which I would later learn was going to introduce me to my soulmate as well as allow me to follow my path.

Hawaii was different the 2nd time. People were meaner. The people I worked with were, for the most part, really terrible to me. I wanted to quit everyday but had no choices. It’s not easy to get a job in paradise. It took me 2 months. I was strong enough to handle it. I knew that. But I cried a lot in that first year. I was farrrrrr away from my family and anything I had ever known to be normal. I was different and felt like that was a bad thing. I was lost in self doubt. I was just lost.

So I got trough the hurdle of the first year. It really did take that long for things to smooth out for me. Finally, I had an apartment with Claire and made a pretty amazing group of girlfriends, rode my bike everywhere, lived 2 blocks from Waikiki beach and about a mile from Diamond Head, the people at my job were finally chillin the hell out- either that or I stopped caring what they thought of me and just did the job, and things were really fun all around. Still, I felt unfulfilled.

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I knew I had to do something. Anything. I just needed to take a step somewhere even if it turned out not to be the right direction because standing still wasnt working anymore. I thought about going back to school, i didn’t know what for but it was a step. I was discouraged a little when I spoke to the counselor there. So here I was sitting at a bar after work one night which had already started to become a seldom thing for me. I was telling my friend that was bartending about feeling lost and he told me to maybe give the yoga teacher training a try just to clear my head and make it easier to see the next step for me. That was totally the answer!!! I paid my tab and biked home super excited about my new found realization!

My friend Amanda was in her training then and she seemed to really love it. I had some anxieties about it, what if I am not flexible enough, or if I don’t fit in with the other girls…blah blah dumb stuff. I emailed the owner of the studio that I had already been going to on a semi regular basis and she told me I could pay half at the beginning and the other half at the end! It was 2700 dollars which is a whole lot of money when you are a waitress and live in Honolulu where a freaking apple is 3.00!! I had the whole summer to save the first half and it took that whole summer to come up with that first half. Hawaii is expensive.

I remember the day and whose class I took when I started looking at yoga as my daily massage. Chanti taught me how to do a headstand. I left class, went to the beach and jumped in the ocean that is bluer than blue and thought about how amazing my life had become. I was getting more and more in touch with who I was. It was a really memorable day for me.

Teacher training started on August 11th of 2012. My work schedule was small. Like 10 days a month and picking up random days when I could. I had my budget down to the cent so that i could save for the last half of the training before the beginning of December. I often had 20.00 extra at the end of the week. Things were that tight. I got pneumonia the first week of training….awesome. Good news was I quit smoking cigs. The doctor told me if I didn’t quit smoking that I would likely die from smoking….even though you already know this, you look at it in a different way when a professional health dude throws it at you. I quit August 16th. Best decision ever.

Teacher training was way more amazing than I could imagine. The women and men in it were so lovely and supportive. I learned so so so much about myself and my relationship with the world. I learned what I am and who I am and I slowly started to love and embrace that. I’ve never felt the thrill I got the first mini class I taught at the end of the training to my fellow teacher trainers. Something clicked in me right away that this was fulfilling to me. This is what I’d been looking all over for.

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When my training ended I immediately started teaching under a tree in the park by the ocean. Free classes to anyone that wanted to come and for the first few weeks it was only one person. I was not a great teacher yet. The words did not smoothly leave me mouth and I would forget what my lesson plan was. I was also shy about teaching the things that resonated with me for fear of seeming “flakey” to people that weren’t familiar with the yoga world. But then this wonderful man named Vito that played in a band at Hard Rock Cafe in the evenings told me he wanted to try yoga super bad and asked if he could come to my class under the tree on the weekend. He kept me accountable for practicing yoga, teaching regularly every weekend, and growing. He was 50 and brand new to yoga. He was the first person I ever taught that had never taken a yoga class before. I remember thinking I was in trouble during our first class together because I was clueless as to how to simplify my guidance for a newbie. He was patient with me. My class under the tree started growing and I found my voice and my style and my courage to step into this role. It takes courage to step into the role you were meant for.

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That class grew over the year and I would be so amazed sometimes walking up to the tree and seeing 10-15 people sitting under it ready for class on a Saturday morning. It blew my mind that so many people came to my little donation class and played. The Love Tree saga. 😉

I went on a trip to surprise my mama for her 50th birthday in Virginia. I stopped in LA for a few days. It was fun. It was different to be back on the mainland. On the flight to Virginia I had a little whisper in my ear that I should move to San Diego. It was the same random whisper that sent me to Hawaii from NYC. I decided that was what needed to happen next. It really was that instant. I emailed my boss that weekend to put in my freakin 6 month notice! I just wanted it to be solidified. I was ready. I was more than ready to leave the island that I had spent 3 and a half years on. I needed more. I needed to find out why God was sending me here now.

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Everything was falling into place so easily. I built my website from nothing all by myself. I had business cards. I was sending out emails to yoga studios and other jobs. I was manifesting my life and what it looked like. I had only positive thoughts about this move. I knew it was going to be my bliss. It so is.

I enjoyed the hell out of my last few months in Hawaii and created some super great friendships that will last forever and ever.

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I met my before mentioned soul mate there. He was my boss at Hard Rock. I was never allowed to confess to him that I had a huge crush because of corporate rules but after he moved to Seattle I found him on facebook and we kept in touch by sending funny animal videos and catching up on life events. I never imagined in a million years that he would be transfered to San Diego a month before I arrived. He picked me up from the airport and we have been inseperable ever since. He’s got my whole heart.

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It took some time to get into the yoga world here. I got a super cute apartment with a super sweet girl Emily who I adore and a job at a little cafe ironically Hawaiian themed about 5 blocks away from my house. I tried starting up a small donation class on the beach here. I met a few people and taught a few people. I was working at the cafe one afternoon when a girl named Leah who I had met a few times before came in with her puppy and she asked me to be friends with her. We had beach days together and she got me more involved with my faith in God which had been reintroduced to me by a friend Ashley in Hawaii pretty recently. I was not happy at my cafe job and really trying to find my path. She gave me a book about faith and being all in. So being all in I quit my job, started a kickstarter to raise money to start a small business making and selling inspirational tshirts and tank tops. I planned to use this business to fund the yoga center I hope to one day open. My campaign was funded and so generously so…It was funded 10 days before the end!!! I cried so much. I was obviously onto something that God had planned for me. The etsy store was created and really helped me out. I picked up odd jobs every now and then. I cried to my boyfriend quite frequently because starting a business is hard and scary and vulnerable. I felt like giving up every single day. Giving up wanting to be a teacher and the shirts and just going back to serving….but I didn’t give up. Something inside wouldn’t let me. I was on auto pilot almost. Sending yoga resumes out like crazy. Auditioning constantly for studios and gyms and never getting the job. I thought it was me….It just wasn’t time yet.

One day my mom called me and told me to get into corporate yoga. Teaching in the workplace. I googled it and emailed the first person that popped up in San Diego just to get some idea of how it is done. The next day we had a phone interview and she hired me to sub all summer last summer. I took some weird initiative and started cold calling businesses all over San Diego to see if they were interested in having classes for their employees that I would teach. That was awful. Cold calling is just never ever a good idea. Unless you are good at it.

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So at least I had this subbing teaching job that was allowing me to teach a few times a month. Big classes 30-40 people in a courtroom a couple times! I had a lot of fun with it. I learned a lot and got even more confidence. But that was all I had and by December they were on a break.

By New Years Eve, I was a mess. I had to get a party staffing serving job for that night in a huge hotel downtown watching drunk people thrown up on each other. I felt like I was at a low place in my life. I could not see the light at all and after rent I had like 15 dollars to my name. But still I couldn’t give up.

I got on craigslist to look for yoga auditions and emailed the first one that popped up. She called me the next day and set up the audition where all of us teachers would teach each other. It took 3 hours and I was really sick with the flu or something. I went anyway. I felt like I was finally gonna get this one. And I did! I finally did it. I was so beyond words happy.

Then I got a call from the corporate yoga people offering me a regular class downtown every week. Then the owner of the studio called me and offered me a private yoga client that I work with 3 times every week and it’s awesome! And then I auditioned for another off site yoga company and got another teaching job! It gets better every single day. I now teach every single day except Mondays. And I am so blessed and lucky to say that.

my boyfriend and I adopted a kitty and named him Murphy. He’s crazy as hell. I am living with the love of my life who gets me and loves me and is an amazing man, love, and best friend. And I do what I love every single day. I am looking for a church to get involved in and I hope I get to marry this wonderful man someday soon. 😉

I know this is a mini book about my journey but I wanted and needed to get this all out right now. So that anytime I fee like I am stuck or things are not going my way I can look back and remember that they are moving along perfectly and as long as I keep listening to those whispers in my heart- even when I am afraid of doing it- I am gonna end up in the right place. Everytime.

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What if you knew that every decision you ever make with your heart is the right one? Would yo be afraid to take those leaps of faith? This is my story of living fearlessly and open to change. Yes I feel fear but I never let it stop me from moving forward.

Cleansing is not a diet! Cleansing is wonderful and empowering. Diets steal souls.

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Cleansing is more than a diet. It is actually not a diet at all. Let’s not confuse those two terms. Cleansing is wonderful and you discover new healthy foods that are yummy and you realize you ARE creative and there’s a rainbow…….yeah man, a rainbow. Diets, on the other hand are the devil and nothing good comes from saying you are on a diet. Cleansing is discovery- diets are devil.

I am a big fan of the Wild Rose herbal cleanses. They are pretty simple to take and the 12 day cleanse gives you a pretty extensive list on what to eat and what to steer clear of. I was actually surprised by some of the foods on it. Things that are normally considered healthy like mushrooms, tropical fruit, certain beans… you get it. They explain the reasons for the forbidden foods….they aren’t bad for you- the cleanse will just work better without them.

So I have blogged here before about my first cleanse…check out the “you are what you eat, so don’t be cheap, fat, easy, or greasy.” that I wrote a few years ago. Turns out, cleanses get way way easier every time. Here’s why I believe this to be true: The first cleanse you do will feel like torture in the same way a diet does for the first week. Giving up things sucks. But then you feel the amazing benefits and lightness that comes along with eating as much of the good foods as you want…and once the cleanse is over you no longer have that nagging urge to eat a bag of doritos or fast food (seriously though, just don’t eat fast food. It is disease.).

I am definitely not saying that I only eat healthy all the time now that I have cleansed a few times….um no. I’m still a person that loves sweet stuff. But I try really hard. I make sure I eat green stuff and a piece of fruit everyday. I try to only eat poor choices a small percentage. When I go to the grocery store I only allow myself to buy one “bad for me” thing. Lately, that guilty pleasure has been peanut butter filled pretzels!

So this cleanse I was staying away from sugar, gluten, dairy, and meat. I was really shocked at how easy it felt. I didn’t feel deprived at all. I really only had to pull a few things out of my daily routine like greek yogurt and granola in the mornings. I replaced it with an apple and almond butter. I didn’t have any rice and I replaced it with quinoa. No pasta noodles and instead my sweetie bought me a spiralizer and we made zucchini and squash noodles! I stopped looking at what I couldn’t have and found a bunch of really awesome things that I didn’t know about and that are way more filling and satisfying.

You gain things you didn’t know you were missing. For me, cutting gluten and sugar gives me so much more energy and clearer focus. Cutting dairy is just good. plain and simple dairy is not good for us. I suddenly felt amazing and motivated….food influences our mind as much as it does our body.

I just thought I would give you an idea of some of the things I discovered I love during my cleanse. They are pretty basic things since I like to keep evey thing simple.

Snacks:

apples/ celery and almond butter, baked apples and cinnamon. Avocados.

Breakfast

oatmeal with cooked apples, cinnamon, and a little tiny bit of honey. Chia seed pudding made with almond milk and blueberries. Oranges and bananas.

Dinner

zucchini and squash noodles satueed with garlic and opa squash. Sweet potaoes. Quinoa with mixed veggies and red pepper spice and black beans. Butternut squash soup.

Lunch

Always a salad. Herb salads are super yummy. They almost taste spicy especially when you have cut out some of the extreem flavors. Kale salads with tons of every veggie and a piece of fruit on it. I don’t love salad dressings- it seems I dig the taste of vegis nowadays but I would use a little bit of sunflower seed oil or olive oil and maybe a sprinkle of salt. If you hate salads, try blending one. I love my blender! Kale, strawberry, kiwi, banana, and spinach with a little coconut water! The list goes on people. It is super fun to make yummy things all love filled and happy!

I only drank water. Not the flavored water…that is sugar or even worse a sugar sweetener thing…aka random chemicals. NO. Only water, filtered. You can try to put some cucumbers in some water if you just gotta. Drink as much water as you possibly can. Drink so much that it’s almost weird. yeah. Do It!

So that’s it. Just a simple little 10 day cleanse. No not every day was easy. Yes I wanted to cheat and eat peanut butter. But it’s 10 days. That’s it. And the benefits you feel and see will have you hooked on health. It makes you feel skinny and strong. It makes you think you can accomplish anything. Because you can. The mid day fog thing doesn’t happen as much without as many sugar or caffeine crashes. I can’t even list all of the benefits you get from loving yourself and eating like it. Just give yourself 10 days…buy an herbal cleanse. I really dig the Wild Rose brand….but honestly you can do a cleanse without the herbs if you don’t feel like investing the 20-30 dollars on the kit. Create a eating plan for 10 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Eating nice yummy things for your body takes time and love and planning. Be prepared love bugs. Bring snacks. Eat as much of these healthy things as you want. (Easy on the fruit though…it is sugar still.) Prep for this little adventure and soon it will become like 2nd nature.

You can totally do this. You will love it, the feeling, the challenge, the results. You will totally be awesome! I love you!!! ❤